THE FAIRER SEX

Short Stories on Male Privilege

No. 12

Cardboard City

'We'll never solve the feminization of power

until we solve the masculinity of wealth.'

- Gloria Steinem

'An obvious topic is staring you in the face', the editor said to me, smiling. 'Right there under your very nose - literally as well as figuratively'.

She gestured to the street outside, along which lay the now-familiar long row of tents. In daytime most occupants were asleep, but two or three of them sat behind the equally familiar hand-written cardboard signs. Through the window I could see a man slumped down against a wall, nodding in some drug-induced trance.

This was so exciting - my first article for the Guardian. My career as a feminist journalist was about to take off.

'Can I put a gendered slant on it? I asked.

'Well of course', said the editor. 'This is the Guardian, after all. Homeless people are mainly men, aren't they? Women are fifty percent of humanity, aren't they? Where are the homeless women? This suggests systemic discrimination of some sort. Patriarchy in homeless shelters, for example. Perhaps it's toxic masculinity - men hogging doorways; stealing all the cardboard; insisting on male-only spaces. The usual things. Just be sure to begin with the conclusion, then select the information to support it. Integrity matters at the Guardian'.

I returned to my desk and began googling. And here was a strange thing. I googled and googled and googled, but found no explanation for why homeless people are mainly men. No-one seemed to be interested in researching this as a gendered problem.

I also discovered Erin Dej, professor of criminology at Wilfrid Laurier University, Canada, who'd just published her latest research: When a man's home is not a castle: hegemonic masculinity among men experiencing homelessness. Well obviously I understood what 'hegemonic masculinity' is: this means the myriad ways in which men subjugate women, and indeed legitimise that subjugation. Homeless men pose a paradox, because, as we know, men hold all the power and wealth. Professor Dej explained this: homeless men cope with their failed status by adopting 'compensatory masculinity'. That is to say, they exaggerate stereotypically male traits - physical strength, physical aggression and sexual aggression. A destitute male, therefore, is still oppressing women. Advice and counselling about his masculinity is what a man needs, when he's got nothing. It now all made sense to me. As a feminist, I'm used to considering things fairly from different angles before coming to the same unvarying conclusion.

Some investigative reporting was in order, so I searched for appropriate charities. Saint Labre's was not too far away: it ran a soup kitchen.

And so I called the number on their website.

'Hello', I said, 'I'm Gertude Steinherz; I'm a femin . . . erm, I mean a journalist. I'm researching an article about homelessness, or rather it's gendered nature'.

'Oh, are you?', said the man, sounding excited. 'That's superb. Homelessness crops up regularly in the media, but it's never presented as a gendered problem. Most rough-sleepers are men. No-one is interested in finding out why, or looking at the problems men face. If most rough-sleepers were women, we'd have Royal Commissions and all the rest of it. What newspaper are you with?'

'The Guardian'.

'Oh'.

A disappointed tone. I was not surprised, however; indeed I expected it. When Guardian journalists write about men's issues, they are received with suspicion. Reporters at our sister organisation, the BBC, experience the same. This attitude remains a puzzle.

'I'd like to come along and talk to you about your work, and interview some of the homeless about their experiences'.

'We're open at lunchtime four days a week', he said, a little curtly I thought. 'But we're rather busy', he added.

Our conversation was over, it seemed. He was not even interested in setting a specific day.

But I went along anyway.

I found a queue outside a drab two-storey building. The queue consisted mostly of men.

When I made for the entrance, some men (despite of my cashmere blazer) thought I was jumping the queue, and responded with oath-edged remonstrations. 

'Please curb your compensatory masculinity', I said, with that aloof tone I adopt toward men who try to intimidate me.

The oath-edge remonstrations stopped, and the men looked at each other in amazement. One of them circled his forefinger at his temple.

Inside, I searched for someone in charge. As usual, this turned out to be a man rather than a woman.

He introduced himself as Sebastian.

He showed no enthusiasm at the thought of free publicity in the Guardian.

Soup and bread were being doled out; the men sat eating at several long benches in a hall.

I went with Sebastian to a cramped office at the corner of the hall.

On the way he began mansplaining.

'Be careful you don't conflate two quite different but related things. The term homeless is a little ambiguous. Homeless people are not necessarily on the streets, they might be sofa-surfing with friends or relatives, or in temporary shelters or hostels of some sort. Rough-sleeping refers to open fields, doorways, parks, subways. Under bridges. In sewers, even. Cars as well. Cardboard boxes'.

'I see you have mainly men here', I said.

'Don’t we just. Now here's a curious thing. Men and women are equally represented among the homeless; but rough sleepers are predominantly men. And our funding is difficult for that very reason. We had a council grant for a couple of years, but it was stopped. They said that we weren't helping men and women equally, and that that was sexist. They said we should focus on homeless families, even though they're a minority of the homeless. One thing's for certain - it's not just about mothers being given accommodation because of their children, like in that famous BBC play Cathy Come Home. There's a lot more to it than that. No-one likes to focus on men's pain, you see. Speak of male hardship or trauma, and eyes are averted. Also, men don't want to be dependent. Men are valued according to their ability to take care of themselves - and to take care of others. When they cannot do that, then they're not only seen as less than men, but also unworthy of help. By being in need of help, they forfeit the right to help. If men admit they need help, they're disdained; if they don’t admit they need help, then they're on their own'.

I felt a yawn coming on, and placed a hand discretely over my mouth.

'Are you sure that rough sleepers are mainly men?' I asked. 'It's mostly men here, but perhaps the women just don't come. Women are probably more self-reliant'.

An irritated look passed over his face. Men don't like self-reliant women, because men are hard-wired to be providers for women. They'd prefer women to be helpless rather than strong and empowered.

'Various charities conduct surveys', he said. 'Some local authorities do this as well. Investigators walk the streets. It's a method with limitations, of course - every method's got sampling bias. Women might hide themselves away, for example'.

'Oh, why?'

'Well, violence against the homeless is common, and women are more vulnerable in that respect'.

As a feminist, I felt an instinctive repugnance for this man and his sexism. 'Here we go again', I thought to myself, 'women are the weaker sex'. Yawn. Didn't he know that today's women are strong, empowered, and every bit the equal of men?

'Something's unclear to me, though' continued Sebastian. 'We get injured men in here all the time. We had one in last week who'd been kicked in the head while he was fast asleep. A kick in the head is still a kick in the head, whether you're a man or a woman. I don't understand why the government's just announced a new initiative to tackle violence specifically against women; this is the Street Safe scheme. What about men?'

As a feminist, I felt an instinctive repugnance for this man and his sexism. 'Here we go again', I thought, 'women shouldn't have special protections that men don’t have'. Yawn. Didn't he know that women suffer from constant harassment, abuse and violence?

'Unfortunately there's a grim and rather indisputable statistic', continued Sebastian.

'Oh?'

'The body count. Rather a clear end-point, I'm afraid. Especially in cold weather. That's how we know for certain that rough-sleepers are mainly men. You can't dispute what you find in the morgue'.

At Sebastian's encouragement, several men who'd finished their meagre meal sat with me.

'I've had numerous health diagnoses since childhood', one man said. 'I've been on and off the streets since I was ten years old, after running away from the children's home where I was abused. I got addicted to prescription drugs. Nothing hard. Sleeping pills; antidepressants; downers. At least prison got me clean again. But on release I ended up in a house full of addicts and so I preferred to leave and sleep rough. Most of the time I'm cold and scared. Your never know what might happen. I found a sewer, and lived in that. I made a bed in there. It was freezing, there were rats, and I was often soaked. My lungs are bad. I'm so weak, a little girl could kill me. That's why I'm so scared of being outside at night'.

As a feminist, I'm disdainful of men positioning their own weaknesses in relation to women's. Here he was, trying to win sympathy by making himself out to be more vulnerable than women. He made no acknowledgement of his male privilege, or how he'd benefitted from the patriarchal dividend.

Another man related how his life entered a tailspin.

'My son was being bullied at school', he said. 'There was violence, but he hid it. It was all so unexpected. One day he didn't come home from school. He was missing two whole days. The police found him. He'd gone into the woods with a piece of rope. My wife blamed me, and eventually insisted that I move out. I sofa-surfed for a while, but I was drinking heavily; I was angry and lost friends. I ended up on the streets. It didn't matter. I didn't care. Nothing mattered. Passers-by are always judging you. But I don't give a toss. I know I failed as a father'.

What struck me about this man was his emotional detachment. When speaking of his son's suicide, his eyes did not even well up. Men are emotionally stunted - this is a truth universally acknowledged, at least by feminists. Men are unable or unwilling to express emotions - other than anger, obviously - and they're unwilling to admit to weaknesses. Evidently, this man had been bringing up his son with the same attitude, and so was culpable in his son's suicide.

A third man said, 'my problems started when my wife got violent'. He took out a handkerchief and began wiping his eyes. 'Once, when I was fast asleep on the sofa, she bit my nose - real hard'. He paused and sobbed, pointing to the scars, turning his head each way to bring them into view. 'That was the final straw, so I went to the police. But they didn't believe me. They said my wife probably bit my nose in self-defence, after I'd assaulted her. I said I was asleep. They said it was self-defence, asleep or awake. She got the house and the children. She wouldn't let me see the children. She ignored the arrangements. There was always some excuse. But the court wouldn't do anything. I lost every penny fighting it. I was so depressed, I lost my job. I was six months behind on the rent. So that was it. Out on the streets.' He leaned forward and placed his hands over his face, choking back the sobs. 'In a couple of years I lost my house, my children, my job and my life savings'.

As a feminist, I'm used to the phenomenon of the man-baby. An emotionally incontinent man is not just embarrassing, but revolting. Men should be strong, shoulder their responsibilities, face up to the trials of life, and 'man up'; not cave in and start crying. Also, crying changes nothing - it allows masculinity to prevail. It doesn't challenge the patriarchal foundation on which masculinity rests, and by which men gain so many advantages that women lack.

'It all started when I got out of the army', said a fourth man. 'I was diagnosed with PTSD. I ended up in a psychiatric unit. The psychiatrist was great. She's short and sort of fragile, but walked around the hospital without fear among some very disturbed men. She was respected by all of us. If you got out of line, other men would sort you out in the washroom'.

This man, then, was an ex-soldier. As a feminist, I've an instinctive dislike for men who defend the culture in which I thrive. The anecdote about the psychiatrist was similarly offensive. The male patients were reinforcing the sexist notion that femininity connotes gentleness, meekness and compassion, and that such qualities are in need of protection by males.

After an hour or so I had what I needed, and headed back to the office.

The article I produced was as follows.

The editor was delighted with it.

The Rough-Sleeper Gender Gap

The existence of women among our nation's rough sleepers has been largely erased from the public consciousness. Yet women represent a staggering ten percent of the total.

Take domestic violence. Women say 'Where would I go? I don’t want to end up homeless; I’ve got to think of my children'. They must make themselves homeless deliberately, in order to get on the social housing list. Men's right activists complain that there are no shelters for battered men - yet there are only a pitiful two thousand shelters for battered women.

The gender pay gap means that women have less financial resources than men. This parallels other ways in which women are disadvantaged, and which this paper has chronicled: the climate-change gender gap, the Brexit gender gap; the Covid gender gap; the housing-crisis gender gap; the cost-of-razor-blades gender gap.

It's well known that women have more mental-health concerns, more suicidal thoughts, and more adverse childhood trauma. Women get caught in vicious cycles of poverty, addiction and trauma. Men, on the other hand, have all the power - if they cannot fix their problems, then it is their fault. It is women who need helping.

Services are directed at men. That is, experiences of homelessness are still gendered. Women's safety should be safeguarded, and the unique needs of women addressed. Homeless women are still left out of societal discourse and public policy. Housing is a women's rights issue: we need women-centred services and gender-sensitive care. Gender roles and expectations, as well as patriarchal attitudes, are deeply embedded in housing allocation, raising women's vulnerability to homelessness. The streets are a male space, with all the patriarchal power structures that such discrimination entails.

Men and women will never be truly equal, unless women are given special privileges.

This is the Rough-Sleeper Gender Gap.

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*Erin Dej's cited work is genuine rather than fictional, I'm afraid. I have restricted my reading about it to secondary sources, which in normal circumstances I would not do; but there's a pay-wall, and frankly I'd rather not contribute one penny-piece to such tosh.

Author's Note.

Early on in this story, the protagonist is unable to find any clear explanation for why rough sleepers are predominantly men. This was, in fact, my own experience while researching this topic. The UK government website Health Matters: Rough Sleeping acknowledges that rough sleepers are mainly men, but then completely ignores this blaring statistic. The same website does, however, examine the problems that women face. An article in the Observer, Gimme Shelter: Stories from London's Homeless, adopts exactly the same strategy. Two exceptions I found were the men's rights website A Voice For Men; and an excellent article by Peter Marin, Abandoning Men: Jill Gets Welfare - Jack Becomes Homeless; both of which I have called on for this story.

(c) Cufwulf

Cufwulf@aol.com